Dear Ms. Anderson-Henry:

. I have several reactions to your posting:

. First, I feel sorry for you and for everyone in your family.

. Second, Alan Tegel gave what I think is excellent advice. I would merely offer one friendly amendment. You stated that discussions with your husband frequently don’t end well. Mr. Tegel is correct in saying a complete airing of the situation can clarify things. However, if it is possible, when you write to him, might you invite a letter from him in return? People are more able to remain calm when composing a letter as opposed to having a conversation. If nothing else, you can’t erase the spoken word.

. Third, since it was not mentioned, have you sought help from a therapist? You should know that professional organizations have relaxed the usual rules and are permitting the use of telemedicine (and paying therapists for it). There are software systems free or of low cost for patients which will permit confidential communication. Also, remember that, if one therapist does not work for you, another might.

. In any event, keep the faith and know that Medium readers are pulling for you!