I truly understand your situation. It is far more common than you could imagine. People often think that, if a marriage has lasted, then it must be good. However, statistics show that one of the fastest-growing group of marriages ending in divorce are those having lasted over 40 years! People wake up and think: “I may be be alive for 25 more years. Do I want to wake up next to X for 25 more years?” You clearly have gone the extra mile in trying to rekindle your love life. How you didn’t kick him where it hurts during that sexual encounter shows saintly forbearance! What I can tell you (almost) to a mathematical certainty is that there will not be a Saul-on-the-way-to-Damascus conversion of your husband’s personality. He will not wake up one day and realize what he has done and what he has lost. If you wait for that, you will wait in vain. Make a plan to leave him. Consult counsel. Get job skills. Get a separate bank account. Start doing things you enjoy-which will be easier once this crisis is over. Aim for a specific date. It maybe years from now, but choose it. Don’t surrender to drift. You deserve to feel fulfilled in every way. Who knows? Maybe your preparations will shock some sense into him! I doubt it, but it is possible. No matter what, you will be moving forward.