Let me begin with the historical question that you asked. I disagree with your contention that the reaction by women against catcalling was produced by politics I respectfully suggest to you that you are not considering the political, legal and social powerlessness of women until at least the last 100 years. For instance, in the 19th century in America, when a woman married, her property immediately became the possession of her husband. That is not directly relevant here. But it is an indication of the level of control exercised by men over women until relatively recently. I would suggest to you that the the failure for there to be a broad-based rejection of catcalling was the lack of access by women to mass media such as newspapers in the old days, supplemented by electronic media in the last century.

Unfortunately, you are absolutely correct when you say that many men literally do not know how to give a compliment to women. There are many segments of society in which making suggestive remarks to women about their bodies is about the only way men ever see women being complimented. This is part and parcel of what many men have in their minds, which is the madonna-whore complex. They are raised with the idea that they have to treat women as if they were saints or else they’re allowed to treat them like sluts. Many men have not adjusted to the fact that women are sexual beings just as men are.

The remedy for that is to educate men to treat women as if they are human beings, not to make women have to endlessly tolerate improper behavior by men. The key thing is the communication must make a woman feel sexy, but safe. And above all, the compliment must be to her as a person, not just to a body part. Recently, I was in a line in the market. The woman in front of me was middle-aged but clearly kept herself in good physical condition and the portion of her body described in the third listed female measurement was spectacular. She mentioned how long the wait had lasted. My response was: “So long as you’re standing in front of me, they can take as long as they want.” She didn’t just smile. She glowed. If I had said: Nice ass,” I don’t know if I would have been slapped, but I would have deserved it. Instead, she was complimented, and the smile from her when she left showed she knew she was being admired, not threatened. My father always treated women with respect, and I like to think it rubbed off. For men not raised in such an environment, my admittedly forlorn hope is that the archaic notion of deportment could be revived and taught in schools. Until then, men have to understand a concept those of us who are attorneys learn when studying personal injury law: you take your victim as you find him-or her.