Scott accurately summarizes the alternatives. Along with most of your responders, I think cheating is always wrong, but you are running up against a brick wall. As to speaking to him, emphasize that he is becoming increasingly unattractive to you. Also state that you will not be nursemaid to him when he has a heart attack or stroke from neglecting his diet and blood pressure and bringing on preventable illnesses. Finally, before you file for divorce, invite several gym hotties over for a Sunday brunch. If your husband sees them glomming onto you, his competitive side may finally wake him up. You will not have cheated, but he will see how replaceable he is.