You don’t have to disclose anything if you immediately divorce. Say you got a great job out of state. Make up anything. But either get a divorce or come clean, knowing your husband will get a divorce. If you get one, you can at least keep a shred of dignity-which you don’t really deserve. To cheat without talking to your husband? Without trying to come up with a way to improve at least the physical act of sex? But the connection you describe with your affair partner shows you just got bored in your marriage and stopped trying. Your husband deserves a better wife.