You stated that infidelity made your life more pleasant and improved your life with your husband-including more sex. You also said that, before your affairs, there were issues where your husband tried to work on your issues and some where he did not. My question to you is did your improved mood and increased sex motivate your husband to deal with your other issues? If yes, you could well argue that infidelity helped your marriage. Did it do enough to stop your cheating? If not, then you found a way to make your life more pleasant but not to improve your marriage. By the way, did your husband raise issues with you where you resisted change? Is he cheating? Are you engaged in “ethical non-monogamy?”